Becoming that which you already are.
Once again life has given me pause revisit the word "identity" in the consideration of my own.
I'm fond of the saying that life gives you who you are, not what you want"
And that's true, in that life will be a direct response to the work you put into it, the thought you apply to guiding the direction of that work and the effort, commitment and desire for whatever it is you want from it.
But that's the catch isnt it? One has to know what one wants.
As ever, creating that knowledge is not a singular process. It requires others and is, in effect, a collaborative effort. Teachers, colleagues, parents, children, partners, and friends all have a part to play in creating our view of what we know about the world, and thus how me might decide what it is we want from it. This, inevitably includes ourselves, since we reside in that world.
Knowing what you want from life is therefore intimately wrapped up in knowing what you want from yourself, creating an ever evolving and unceasing cyclical process. One the philosopher Rosi Braidotti calls "becoming"

So what will you accept in life from yourself and others? Or Let in, & give power
and credence to? That stuff creates you, and is created by you. It creates reactions in others, that then ripple outward, affecting and creating the world's of others. Action, reaction. Cause and effect. Or more correctly Cause, inference, consideration, reflection, interpretation of probable meaning, contextual justification, then...and only then....effect.
If any of those intermediate steps are skewed, or blocked, for example by untruths and deceptions whether by self or others, then so too will the effect. Because whilst one retains autonomy to create ones effect from the causal incident, one is denied access to the components within which it is created. The 'effect' is therefore diverted, subverted, and changed, and the original outcome lost, perhaps forever.
This results in what GWF Hegel called, "an epistemic failure" A failure to know that which one thought one knew. So, be careful what you let in and consider appropriate justification in the creation of your identity.
Give your 'self' the time it needs. Again Hegel recognised this. Immediacy being a reliable component of a failure to know that which one thought one knew.
Examine the intersections of life carefully. And be mindful that every body travels it's own path through life, navigated by it's owners justifications. A path that may be very divergent from your own, and thus as a result is also not yet 'known' to you.
The other half of the story..
Of course 'knowing' what it is you would wish for, and placing oneself in relation to others is important. However we also need to have belief in ourselves & our abilities. To believe that, once known, what we are aiming for is both possible and or attainable. To have faith in our own ability to navigate the world, to persevere in the face of hardship, derision, disbelief, distraction and derailment.

So be micro ambitious. Achieve. Delay gratification. Work on what is in front of you. Ignore those who call you obsessed, deluded, obnoxious, bigoted, opinionated, or just plain stupid. If They're complaining then you're probably not as wrong as they suggest. Leave them behind if you must. Learn. Read and become the authority in your own life. There is a world of difference between 'believing in an authority' and 'being that authority'. Examining ones own
bias means critiquing how one acquired ones views, from whom, and for who's purpose?
It takes effort, humility, and no small amount of resolve. But then, once it is done, we move away from falsehood. Toward, it is hoped, an eventual truth.
Make no mistake, life, and the people in it, will place derailments and falsehoods in the path. Some sadly do not wish your endeavours to meet with success for they believe their success depends on your failure. (Yes current UK government I'm looking at you)
But no matter. Let them. No matter how hard some fight for the status quo, change is inevitable. Let those who would "rather be right than rich" fondly believe they are so, because their mistake lays in poorly defining both.
Your job is simple. Know YOUR path. and forge it. till next time
Sarah@stubbornlyoptimistic.me